The Lost Art of Conversation

I was reading Anna Karenina the other day, and came across a chapter where a character invites guests over for dinner. Offhand, that sounds like nothing special, but it was described so intentionally, that I couldn't get over it.

The dinner was what could almost be considered a party. It was 8 individuals or so, who weren't part of the same circle of friends. They weren't all one chummy group. Some were related. Some were acquainted. Some were political rivals. However, the host arranged it all so that the dynamic characteristics of each of his guests would be on display. He intentionally invited certain people to introduce them, because he knew they would get along greatly.

Then, during the party, he would mingle between guests, bringing up topics he knew they would find interesting. He encouraged conversation. He knew how to avoid touchy subjects. It was incredible.

In our day, things like this just don't happen. In a sermon by John MacArthur that I was listening to yesterday, he was talking about how people are becoming more and more individualized, and don't see values in relationship. We don't see dependence on others as a good thing. We like to be autonomous. We take pride in the fact that we can get along on our own, without help from family or friends. Now, I'm not saying you should be a burden on someone, or that working to provide for yourself is wrong. Not at all. My point is that we lack that link that generations before us found vital.

If you were to invite eight people over for dinner, who would it be? They couldn't be of the same group- your basketball team, your Bible study. Just eight people who you think could thrive off of each others experiences and conversation. I don't think I know eight people's personalities well enough to know what sort of things they would have in common with my other friends. It's quite sad.

Another experience I had recently was a stop I had on the way back from a family vacation. We spent two nights at my Aunt and Uncle's house in southern Alberta. I have always loved talking to my aunt, and this time, I wanted to figure out why. Why is it I feel so comfortable with this woman who I really only see twice a year at the most?

She makes you feel she's listening. She asks intentional questions. She cares about what your goals and dreams are. She never questions "how can you afford to do that?" or "is that really the best use of time?". She's genuinely excited about your life, and what you're excited about. She knows how to create these sorts of conversations where you can really meet someone. I don't feel I know her quite as well as she knows me, but I feel that's my fault. I haven't been intentional about asking. I haven't developed that skill.

That's something I really want to work on. People usually love to share themselves, but we're too busy trying to get our point across that we miss the experiences they're trying to share with us.

Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday (Part 1)

My dearest Kassi is getting married SATURDAY!!! So exciting! I thought I'd share some of the festivities with y'all. It's my first time being in a wedding party, so I'm doing a lot of observing and note taking, trying to figure out how things are done and how I can help.

A couple weeks ago, the bridesmaids and one of Kassi's other friends made a day trip out to Banff for her bachelorette party. We wanted her to enjoy the scenery and complete an amusing scavenger hunt. Items on the list were things like "Take a picture with a 'Matt'" (the name of her fiance) and "find the most romantic book title". Then we headed to the Grizzly House which is a rather unobtrusive shack on Banff Avenue. None of us had eaten there before, but I highly recommend it! We were surprised when we walked in at the character of the place! It is a fondu place that specializes in exotic meats (rattlesnake, shark, ostrich) as well as the fondu regulars. We erred on the safe side and got beef, chicken, and prawns for us to share. The meal was delicious and the evening was full of entertainment. You'll have to check it out to see what I mean! My only caution is to save it for special occasions. Even for Banff Avenue, it is pricey, with most meals over $40, before drinks.

Then we went to the hotsprings to settle our full tummies, and had a great swim and wonderful conversation. The evening ended with a trip back to Calgary and watching Father of the Bride at Kassi's apartment. We all got much too little sleep, but Nadine was a trooper and woke up to make the rest of us waffles, complete with strawberries and homemade whipped cream. It was a very enjoyable event, and got Kassi realizing how close she is to the big day!

Continual Blessings

I have completed four final exams, and have two left at this point. My most recent exam was Linear Algebra. That course has been a mess so far.

It all started with enrollment. Everyone starts with Math 2030: Matrix Theory/Linear Algebra in the fall, which I did. Then there are two options for the second course in the winter. The first is the natural continuance, Math 2040: Matrix Theory/Linear Algebra 2. There is also Math 2135: Linear Algebra. I don't think it's ever explicitly stated in the course description, but it is the honors Linear Algebra. I was aware of this when I signed up for it, but I couldn't take Math 2040 because it conflicted with Cryptography, so I thought I would just suck it up and start the hike up the mountain of proofs.

I don't quite remember the situations surrounding the midterm, but I got a 48%. I was pretty miserable. I had totally skipped over one question, which automatically lost me 20%. It just wasn't a good time. Luckily, he took the grade out of 20 rather than 25, which boosted my grade to a 60%, but still... not the sort of thing a math major wants on her record.

The rest of the course was a little more application centered rather than proofs (though there were still plenty). With the final coming up, I was dreading all the studying I was going to have to do to make up for my midterm grade. Then our professor mentioned that he had an alternate grading option. Typically, the final would be worth 50% of our mark, and assignments and midterm are each worth 25%. However, if the final exam grade alone was higher than that composition, your grade would be taken as 100% final exam. Yahoo! The nasty midterm could be forgotten! But now the stress was on. I was aiming on clearing the slate, and to do that I wanted a really good final exam grade.

I spent a decent amount of time studying. My eighth grade science teacher, Mr. McHatton, was right. If you don't know how to study for university, you're toast. I think I'm still learning how to study, because I never really had to in high school, and that makes me put off studying even more! I hate the idea of it, but something I found when studying for this course was as I studied, it made sense. And suddenly, I didn't need to memorize tons of things- just the building blocks. I could come to the conclusions of the proofs myself if I just learn the basic properties. I didn't have to memorize a lot of theorems, and really, there weren't that many anyways.

Then the morning of the test day, I went to Coburg Coffee early early. I got a bowl of soup (for breakfast? I know. But it was really good soup) and pulled out the practice problems. I went through everything and then went to beautiful Becca A's room. She gave me a card with Eph 1: 18-21 on it, had me review, and sent me off.

...that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. (Eph 1:18-21 NKJV)

The test went wonderfully. I mean, I don't know how I did yet; it will be a couple weeks before I get the results back. But it's been quite the adventure. In the last two weeks I've discovered what wonderful friends I have and how, even though we're studying totally unrelated topics, we are there to help each other as best we can. Even though at the end I was starting to enjoy the material, I'm sort of glad that class is over. I'll update with the results when I get them.

Joy and Simple Gifts

My birthday was earlier this month, and before I left for Calgary, we had a discussion here about what sort of cake I wanted. My friend, Catherine, and I had grown up with our birthdays one day apart, and we always had red velvet cakes (at least as I recalled at the time. Photographic research since has shown Catherine always has the red velvet cake, and occasionally I'm a copycat). But in any case, that's what I was after. Mrs. Gina was busy at the time with various things, so I opted for the box version, and began to hunt for Red Velvet Cake. Sobey's didn't have it. And there ended the hunt, because I don't have a car, so getting to grocery stores is a little complicated.

I ended up having a chocolate cake with cream cheese icing, which is basically a red velvet cake without being red, and I had a lovely birthday. My friend, Jenna escaped residence life and slept over, and we watched an "inspirational Christian sports movie," aka Facing the Giants. I got generous gifts from all the kids (including one of Andrew's picture books. :) talk about generosity) and spent some time that night thinking about the last 19 years. What a gift in itself.

Then, a week later, I went out for supper with Jenna, and she surprised me. She had been to Starbucks earlier that day, and lo and behold, they have Red Velvet Cupcakes!!! So she got me one. Isn't it incredible how the most simple gifts are sometimes the best? The cupcake and I had a photo shoot before it got devoured. Starbucks, I'm willing to sell the rights to the photos. ;)

Michael and Evie Get Hitched

Last weekend, I was in Portland, Oregon attending the wedding of my best friend's cousin. It was the second wedding I've been to (that I can remember) and I learned lots about the chaos of wedding activities.

The rehersal luncheon was Friday on Mt. Hood. There was still snow around, which was exciting. Everything tasted lovely and there were some really great toasts. There was family from Alaska, California, Texas, and Alabama present.

There was a little bit of an issue with the flower orders and florist arrangements, so Saturday afternoon, seven other girls and myself learned how to make boutonnieres, corsages, wreaths, bouquets, and table decorations. I must say, they looked awesome. The flowers were daisies (yay!), roses, and lavender.

I got to meet the famous Anna B who I had heard so much about (don't worry, you lived up to your reputation). I roomed with her and the lovely Katie M for the weekend, and we had some great times, involving "legal U-turns," target shopping carts, and late night shopping expititions.

Finally, the day arrived and we rushed off to the church. After a couple detours around downtown, the whole party was there, the men looking handsome in their suits and ladies in their silver dresses. The ceremony was beautiful, and the message was well prepared. Then we went on to the reception and had a great time. I met Alex and Brett Harris, and Alex gave Alex P and Anna B a nice Viennese waltz lesson with his sister (those boys are amazing dancers). There was also a little "Cha-cha Slide" and "Sweet Home Alabama" thrown into the mix.

Overall, the weekend was a success. The happy couple was married, and the families got to spend a lot of time blending and meeting new people. Us girls had a fun time touring and helping with the flowers, and the boys had a fun time getting into trouble. ;) Weddings are fun.

My favorite "Brian" in the world

Daniel getting in touch with his feminine side

Michael and Evie rehearsing

Alex and Anna at the rehearsal luncheon

All Pictures by Daniel Campbell's Camera (so... Daniel and Katie)

The Lessons of Vanity Fair Part 1: Blood and Water

I am still reading Vanity Fair, and a part stood out:

"And so I am tempted to think that to be dispised by her sex is a very great compliment to a woman." (p. 124)

Why? Jealousy. The Writer continues:

"How is it that Amelia, who had such a number of friends at school, and was so beloved there, comes out into the world and is spurned by her discriminating sex! My dear sir, there were no men at Miss Pinkerton's establishment... When George, their handsme brother, ran off directly after breakfast, and dined from home half-a-dozen times a week, no wonder the neglected sisters felt a little veaxation." (p. 125)

This quote makes you angry when you know of the fate of George and Amelia (watch the movie, then read the book).

I may be moralizing, but it appears the lesson here is that blood ought to run thicker than water till that water becomes blood (and I'm not referring to Moses), as hard as it may be at times. What do you guys think the balance should be between friends and family?

Did You Know That....

I have freaking amazing friends. I can't even start to describe them. They're such an encouragment through life's struggles and temptations (MC and CS) and amazing laughs (CH and BZ). They're fun to catch up with (SC) and sad to say goodbye to (RL, AF, and KL). In fear of sounding corny, I don't know where I'd be without all of you. I miss each of you (since everyone I've mentioned in this blog is {not, no longer} in Calgary) and hope to see you soon. You guys are awesome.

Congratulations, Daniel and Katie!

Today, Katie Smith and Daniel Campbell are getting married in California. Best wishes to the couple! I love you guys, and hope the new chapter of your life is a happy one :)

Picture by Veronica Campbell, http://www.flickr.com/photos/photographybyveronica/

The Last Year

A year ago, I was up here, in Canada, looking for a house. A year ago today, I was snuggled under one of Grandma's quilts with my cousins, watching a movie.
This last year has been good. I've made lots of new friends, and made better judgments. I've enjoyed the privacy that I've allowed myself in school. I hardly know anyone, and I'm actually quite content with that. I used to know so many people that every class I was in, someone would talk to me, which is great, but it's nice to just sit, do classwork, get reading done, and relax. I don't have commitments every weekend with friends. I have been able to add responsibilities as I go.
That being said, I'm not a loner! :) I have formed a close circle of friends that I get along well with, who take as much pleasure from drama as I do. I'm closer to my small group at church than I was to the one in Katy, and we get together outside of church for dinner or at youth events.
School is also so much more relaxing. Weeks like these last few have been chaotic (I have 5 projects due in the next four days) I have to keep reminding myself that I get 8-10 hours of sleep. In Katy I'd be lucky to get 7. I am doing well in my classes and learning relevant relational things. In Katy, I would be feeling bogged down with hypotheticals and historical facts, worrying so much about the memorization that I forget the importance.
Here, I have had more opportunity to have Spanish oral practice in class. I have had more presenting opportunities in my other classes. I have written more essays, poems, and short stories than probably all the essays, poems, and short stories I had written before this year combined (minor exaggeration).
My beliefs have been challenged more- especially in debate. Canada is much more liberal than the US, and my school is one of the more liberal schools in Calgary. The conservative government party is called "progressive conservative," for goodness sakes. Probably about 10% of the school population is gay. Biology is taught from a solely evolutionary standpoint. Sex-ed is not abstinence only. Though Christianity is not publicly criticized, it is considered a religious minority, which leads to some interesting discussions.
I've had more time to spend with family here, and though I miss many of my friends dearly, I still keep in touch with most of them, and will see most next week. :)

Spring Hast Sprung in Canada

This last weekend has been gorgeous! Saturday it was hotter in Calgary than in New Braunfels, TX. Right now it's 12 degrees C out (54F) which is perfect for going out in pants and a tshirt after the winter we've had. On Sunday I went for a walk with Mom and her boyfriend to the Bow River, and it's starting to brown up on the hills. Almost all the ice is gone. Upon return, I checked our "garden" and the bulbs that I planted last autumn are sprouting.

Also, an update on Kim. She's noticibly improving, and even she noticed today at lunch that she could drink out of a straw. Thanks for your prayers! I have an English paper to write, but I plan on doing a post on I Samuel, II Samuel, and The Bean Trees.

Prayer Requests

I'm sorry I haven't posted recently- I haven't been doing much reading recently, since this week has been a little hectic at school. I do have a couple prayer requests though, concerning the health of my friends.
First, there's my friend Kim. She's such a dear girl, and always so helpful. The other day, she said her eye was bugging her, but the other eye was the one that looked swolen. She went into the doctor, and she was diagnosed with Bell's palsy. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it is an infection of one of the facial nerves, so half of her face is paralyzed, which makes blinking, talking, and expressing yourself difficult. Though it isn't extremely obvious when talking to her, being a high school girl is hard enough, and I'm sure she's self-concious about it, though she has remained strong through all of this. The prognosis is pretty good, and she should recover. It's just a matter of time.
Then, there's my friend Rae, who thinks she may have mono. Hopefully not, since she was able to make it to school again today, and mono knocks you off your feet, but she feels horrible. Her friend has it, and since I ate after her Sunday night (darn mushrooms!!!) I may, though it's not likely unless she used her fork before she took a bite of the lasagna (and who licks their fork before they take their first bite, really?). In any case, mono is not fun, and being the end of her senior year, she needs to be as healthy as possible.

Schools In! Part III: Friends

My first friend is Kim. I met her a week or so before school started, and she went to Clements High School in Sugarland. She's in swimming, and is a perfect mixture of Catherine and Bianca's kindness and brains. She's in three out of four of my classes.

The first day of school, we had one hour of homeroom, and one of our tasks was assigning lockers and locker buddies. My buddy is Anna, a French Immersion student (first language English, but all her classes are French. A pointless system if you ask me. Imagine learning calculus in Spanish!). I really don't see much of her, but she seems really nice from what I've seen of her.

My next friend I acquired is Justine. Our teacher was looking at transcripts (you have to bring your transcript to class on the first day so the teacher has an idea of what your grades normally are), and she was like "Oh, where did you move from?" and I responded, "Texas." Then the girl in front of me whips her head around and said "I'm from Texas too- Houston." So I said, "Well, I'm from Katy!" and she said, "Really? I'm from Sugarland!" She's lived in Calgary for a year already, so she has some very nice friends that Kim and I have met (namely Anaka and Stephanie). They invited us to eat lunch with them. She's in swimming too, but she has a bad knee so she doesn't get to do much of it.

Then in Bio, there's a girl named Katheryn who lived in Cinco for grade 7. I really haven't spent much time with her, but she sits with Kim and I in our lab table.

I'm probably closest to Kim, but Justine is really nice too. We both may end up being sucked into their group! The trick I've learned is just say you're from Katy, and you'll find a couple people who know where it is.